this note is originally titled "a letter to my future mother-in-law", but beause of the drastic conclusion of our love story, the priviledge to use that title is no longer mine. still, i wish you to know how great a priviledge it is for me to know you. thank you for being his mother. and if there's one thing i'd forever be thankful to our relationship, that would be the fantasy i had of, not only being his partner, but being you daughter. you are indeed the greatest blessing your youngest son has; the blessing i wished to share with him.
for now, i've ran out of playful, poetic words to color this letter. all i have are the plain, basic emotions just exactly what my heart feels now.
the memory of our first meeting is still crystal clear to me. i admit we didn't leave a boombastic impact on each other that day. but as i went on knowing you further, i was really certain that you are the best second person i'd call "mama". growing up in an extremely nuclear family with not much affection from my grandparents, having a good relationship with my future family-in-law is the biggest dream i wish to live with when i finally do my share of saving grace. i honestly wished you to be a part of my life forever. please don't get mad tita, but i've gotta confess something- i secretly call you "mama mines" when i'm with my friends (lol!). if you only know how i used to brag it to my gang that i have a good friendship with the mother of my boyfriend. and when people ask me what i like most in him, i'd reply "i love his family and i wanna be a part of it". i may not be as showy to you (and i regret it, i was just blown away with inferiority because i'm not as talented as your kids) but, again, one of my ambition is not just be his wife, but be your daughter. and when kenken came to your lives, i started dreaming of having neice and nephews- something i know i can't have on my own (haha).
thank you for trusting your son to me tita. the original context of this letter should be my gratitude for being the mother of the person i adore the most. but now, after all that happened, the reality is that i should be thanking your son for opening the door to our friendship. all these two years, one of my biggest dream is that we'd share a "ruth and naome" frienship as told in the bible book of "Ruth". if you only know how desirable it would be for me to be one of your "ruths". despite my break-up with your son, i still see you as my "naome" though i know you already might be having a different "ruth" from your youngest. tita, thank you so much for being who you are.
in this letter, i should be thanking you for raising up my knight in shining armor. however, now that the knight you raised up is saving a different princess, allow me do this on a different light. i thank you for being the best mother every child dreams of. and i thank you more for sharing a piece of you to me.
perhaps, the biggest mistake i had in my relationship with your son is that i dreamed so much of being a part of his family. i shouldn't be counting the chickens before the hatching of the eggs. but i can't help it. you have such a lovely set of household. maybe it's also born out of my dream of having siblings like your children. children that are raised up witht he supervision of one of the best learned parents. not like most of the siblings i know who do nothing but fight and contend with each other while disgracing thier parents. though it would probably cause me greater hurt by now, i regret not being able to extend my freindship to your family especially to tito ike and ate tet. i think i should have made something more for them. not for my own intentions of being your family's protege for your son, but because i believe good people deserve an extra mile of effort. indeed, tita, the biggest reason why i badly want our relationship to prosper is because i dream of being in the shoes of ate yani and ate chin (the shoes my mom never got to wear..lol!). maybe the best way to sum all my blabberings is that i want to be a part of a big family without the complications my parents suffered. and upon knowing you, i realized how reacheable my dream is.
now that this dream of mine is over, i still wish to share a good relationship with you. maybe i just have to accept that some other girl deserves you family more than i do. i may no longer be able to save my relationship with your son but i whish that doesnt break the potentials of my friendship with your family especially with you. and i thank you for making me feel it's still possible.
your last future daughter-in-law is truly blessed tita. as for me, i believe Jehovah God will someday give me my heart's desire (Ps. 37:4)- to find a set of in-laws that will accept me wholeheartedly. i know He has reserved me for another family as great as yours. i just have to patiently wait for that though. i believe one day, i'll meet another "mama mines" who'd love me as much as you do. and i will also have another "tito ike", "ate tet", "kuya ton", "ate ching", "kuya wang", "ate yani", and "kenken" to build my greatest bond with.
so long to my future mother-in-law. cheers to a new form of friendship. i love you, my almost-mother-in-law.
your almost daughter-in-law,
shane...
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